I want to write about fear today – funny thing is I’ve been trying to write this blog for at least 2 weeks. (I wonder if it’s fear that’s stopped me lol. I make the joke, because it’s probably true.)
What I can say for sure, is that the last 5 weeks have been intense and magical, as goals I have set for years, are coming to fruition. I’ve met a beautiful man and begun a relationship that has so much potential. And after decades of yearning, I am going to Peru this year – amongst other exciting Andean explorations (which I will get to in another blog).
It seems ludicrous to admit this – but all these good things are bringing up such fears in me. I ‘should’ be skipping around with delight, that finally my dreams are coming true; that finally I feel heard by the Universe; that all my hard work is finally paying off- all the manifestation techniques, meditations and vision boards, actions -are arriving & manifesting into my reality. Life is happening thick and fast… and deliciously.
But to tell the truth, instead, I am actually freaking out: Will it last? Is it real? Can I trust it? What if there’s not enough money? What if x? What if y? …arrggghhh!
Fear, fear, fear…
I didn’t expect that…
…and then I read this quote:
“Our past will continue to be the greatest predictor of our future as long as we react to certain events, as if they are set in stone”
Sooo true….and oops! I figured it out: I’m treating my life currently, according to how bad last year was, or how bad it was 7 years ago, or whenever. The quote above made me realise, I’m so caught up in the past. I WAS in a cycle of clearing out and ending off cycles that didn’t work for me, that now I’ve got into this bad habit. .. of thinking it is always going to be like this – i.e. it’s cast stone and I can’t change it, and this could all fall apart!
So the first step to change is: AWARENESS!
Becoming aware of my underlying thoughts and feelings. i.e. Noticing I am doing this! Just the aha moment of ‘oh wow look what I’m doing here’ lifts such a huge weight off. Suddenly I could see all the fears of losing these valuable new happenings in my life…. the fear of loss…. becoming aware of my behaviour, helped me to step 2:
2) Assess what is real right now. To question whether these thoughts, fears and resistances are real- are they even appropriate? Is it even still a relevant feeling or thought to the current situation.
So often I think we get so caught up in our illusions that we forget to question them. Or to notice that energy is always moving. That humans are always changing. Life is always evolving… and I can do this with a different frame of mind now.
Suddenly it feels exciting – an adventure to challenge myself…. what can I change? … let me be fully engaged, wide-eyed – looking and sensing guidance where I can.
… and to notice that reality is unfolding so beautifully, like it’s guided and meant to be. The energy is supportive. It is a different situation.
3) ….to make a decision to do it differently! So I can create new thoughts & beliefs with affirmations to remind me – like:
I welcome joy & ease into my life.
I can follow through and create a joy-filled world to live in.
I support & nourish myself and my next steps.
…and so, open myself up to being supportive and guided, and allowing of my reality to unfold. No more resistance.
4) …and lastly to enjoy the gifts I am being given right now. Gratitude – to practice appreciation of what is.
Such a good heart open space – instead of fear….but I suppose that is the gift fear brings us: to show us the flip side – that life can be filled with love. That I can live a heart based life, of trusting and faith that all is ok. To let go. And simply allow….
Have you ever experienced this too?
Isn’t life just magical ?