Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart,
it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude. A A Milne
It amazes me that I am about to write about this topic.
I have become obsessed with the heart – my heart.
I’ve realised I’ve forgotten to focus on this precious heart of mine….amazing how easy it is to wander off, and lose sight of something so vitally important.
The first clues were noticing that I had about 8 clients all with heart issues- really! Pain behind the heart. Their spines out of alignment behind the heart. Heart palpitations for no reason. Heart chakra issues a few times. Then I woke up with pain behind my own heart area. And that’s when I realised there was something I wasn’t seeing – and eventually twigged, there was a mirror going on that I need to look at.
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” ― Rumi
Something strong resonated in me then. A big sigh of relief just to acknowledge it. I realised how tired I am deep, deep within. When looking over my life in the last 15 years, that there is more draining of my heart from giving – than receiving or rejuvenating my heart- and receiving. It’s out of balance
I’ve taken it for granted, assumed that my heart is a bottomless container of nourishment that I can give from forever and NEVER have to replenish – that my heart will always be full. Such a human assumption! I didn’t notice the feeling creeping up … of being plagued by a dry-ness, an unquenchable thirst, a bitterness creeping in –even anger – was a symptom of my heart trying to get my attention. It’s saying ‘hello Love, time to consciously fill your heart cup up” :0)
“Drum sound rises on the air,
its throb,my heart.
A voice inside the beat says,
“I know you’re tired, but come.
This is the way.”
Now as I place all the puzzle pieces together, it seems so obvious. But you know how easy it is to get caught up in the busy-ness of life, and just not seem to notice. It always fascinates me how complex and blind us humans can be to the most obvious issues hanging right in front of our awareness!
I have taken it for granted.
So I am reading heart books, watching heart-based movies and documentaries; studying and practicing heart exercises. Seeing hearts everywhere too of course. And opening to receive.
From decades of earlier research, I have a small encyclopaedia of heart information- I have tons….and I am surprised to discover, that they don’t work for me anymore. It’s really fascinating, I pick up books, articles that I had stored away, but they’re just not reaching the ‘spot’. Seems I’ve gone to a new depth – is that because I excavated too deep – or is it that I’ve spiralled to the next level?
So I’m researching beyond what I have – which has led me to delicious discoveries, and to my favourite old masters – and their poetry! There is nothing like a poem from Rumi or Mary Oliver– to touch deeply, wordlessly in the heart. I can feel my heart sighs with satisfaction and joy.
To visit other dimensions of the heart, I wake up each morning and read something related to this mysterious realm of my heart. Each day a different writing, a different meditation, a jumping into the unknown and letting my body guide me.
I’m loving it! In the process, it seems this focusing on the heart, has triggered my creativity. My trust in life. My feeling at one with the planet. Forgiveness without effort, and daring to explore the cutting edge again. Surprise. Surprise. I feel alive & connected.
I thought it would take ages to recuperate, but I’m learning, it’s about keeping focus and filling up regularly in some way, no matter how small or big- like a regular spiritual practice!
So here I am, writing and Thanking the powers that be for my heart! What would my life be without it’s kindness, and conscious reminder, bringing-me-into-the-moment. Love is so powerful, I can even be grateful for tripping up – and mirrors for reminding me where to look to rejuvenate.
“Where the lips are silent the heart has a thousand tongues.” ― Rumi